014: Are You An Imposter?
Imposter syndrome.
It’s a phrase used to describe a broad range of emotions that probably all of us feel at some point in our lives.
We attribute it to feelings of:
inadequacy
“I’m not good enough”
“Somebody else would do a better job of this than me”
guilt
“They are going to find out that I am not as good as I’ve said I am”
“Everyone is going to find out the truth about me at some point”
fear:
“What if the thing I am trying to do goes horribly wrong - because I always get it wrong?”
“What if I fail when push comes to shove?
Shame
“What if people think less of me?”
“What if people think I’m not good enough?”
Typically, we tend to think of the effect of imposter syndrome as being a predominantly negative experience. It generates the kind of thinking that forces us to approach our task with a negative mindset from the very beginning. Often, this may even make us feel like we’ve got to try to cover up our inadequacies in order to prevent everyone else from finding out the ‘truth’.
But that’s no way to live a life.
And that’s no way to do your best work.
What if:
You are the only person that is capable of doing your job in the way the world needs?
You are the only person who is qualified, skilled and talented enough to do your job?
Only you can turn up and do the hard work that people rely on you to do?
Every mistake is proof that you’re a living, learning, exploring human being?
Every step in your journey is helping you to be better at everything else you do?
What would happen if you approached your work with that kind of mindset?
—
It’s not that easy though, is it?
If we could all choose to think this way, then everybody would be free of imposter syndrome, right?
If we’re honest with ourselves, we know that there is no cure to these emotions. No matter how hard we try not to think in these terms, our thoughts are always nearby, ready to remind us that we should feel inadequate, guilty or fearful in some way shape or form.
CALLING ALL IMPOSTERS
I want to ask you a single question:
Are you going out into the world - pretending to be someone else - with the intention of deceiving others for fraudulent gain?
No? Then you are not an imposter.
To be classed as an imposter, you would need to be heading out into the world with the very intention of deceiving others. This means the phrase ‘imposter’ is probably not the right phrase to describe you as a person - or the emotions that you are feeling.
That’s quite a useful thing to know…
Could it be that the phrase ‘imposter syndrome’ is actually entirely the wrong phrase to use to describe these emotions in the first place?
Maybe…
Could it be that this phrase comes loaded with more emotional baggage than it really needs to - because the phrase itself is wrapped up in a myriad of unhelpful feelings including shame, guilt and embarrassment?
Perhaps…
Is there a version of these emotions, which, when slightly re-framed, can be seen as an extremely positive trait of our personality - rather than a negative one?
That would be interesting…
Let’s see if we can find some alternative language to describe all of this.
THE FEAR OF LETTING PEOPLE DOWN
What if the emotions you attribute to imposter syndrome are actually just a fear of letting people down?
It’s not that you are inadequate, or you haven’t learnt that obscure extra skill yet, or that you’ve made one or two mistakes in the past, or that you don’t know every piece of knowledge in your chosen field (yet).
It’s just that you really want to do an exceptional job for someone else.
Someone that you care about.
Someone that you care about so much that you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness and enjoyment of life because you want to do the best you can for them.
Can you see that that is an extremely courageous, generous and brave place to be?
Can you also see that these are the very emotions that help to keep you sharp?
That give you the drive to go above and beyond?
That make you go to the ends of the earth for others?
That make you uniquely capable (over anyone else) to exceed other people’s expectations and to do your very best work?
What if:
The fear you’re experiencing is the very fuel to the fire that you need?
THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU NOW
With this topic, I often like to give the following example of a choice between two doctors:
The first doctor second guesses themselves and double checks everything. They ask for second opinions and worry constantly about whether they’ve done a good enough job. They worry about this all day and every single night when they get home from work, and they constantly want to improve and to get better.
The second doctor is cocky and thinks they know it all. They are half interested in hearing your symptoms, they will immediately ‘know’ what should be done and then rush to a conclusion without considering any other alternatives.
Which one would you prefer to diagnose your obscure new illness?
I’d rather have the one that feels the ‘imposter syndrome’, because I’m more likely to get a better outcome.
—
To conclude, what if your fear was the indicator that showed you were heading in the right direction? The direction that’s in the very best interests of your client?
What if you actively looked for that fear, as a positive thing, rather than a negative - because it makes you better and sharper at what you do?
What would that mean for your mindset, your work and your future?
James
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